I became highly proficient in wearing a mask. From an early age I learned it's easier to put on the brave face and push through. At least, that’s what I thought. But as time went on I started noticing how a piece of myself felt like it was missing as I focused more on people-pleasing than pleasing myself.
Whether it was at school, when I transitioned to work, or even as I built relationships in the community, I always wanted, desired, and was desperate for the approval of others. The only problem with seeking approval from others is that it will place you in a position where you will compromise what’s really important to you and God's position.
What does it look like to wear a mask? A mask is any emotion, trait, or persona you wear or assume that is counter or alternate to how you really feel, what you really want, or opposite of being your authentic self. For me, it sounded like, “I got it, I’m fine, I’m confident in my appearance, I am qualified for this position, etc.” I felt like I’d let people down if I didn’t take on every task, that I’d prove I wasn’t ready if I didn’t assume every role and that maybe I wasn’t a good mother, if I didn’t have the kid who was “brilliant”.
The pressure I put on myself day in and day out nearly took my life, or I guess I almost took my life trying to keep up with an unrealistic “me”, versus loving the “me” I could become with the right focus.
One thing about God is He will reveal your largest asset and, through his mercy, expose your greatest vulnerability. As time passed, I started to prioritize the one relationship that had the power to shift it all. I started peeling back the layers of the mask, one intrusive thought at a time. Growing closer to God positioned me for purpose, but even more, it revealed how to align with the purpose. How to be bold in my calling not because of how someone else would view my efforts, but based on how God viewed me. There’s no greater love, and learning how to see myself the way God sees me was the most freeing experience in my life.
Now I’m no longer bound by the enemy that is my inner me, I’m empowered by the victory that came from unmasking the inner me.
I found the WarriHER I didn’t even know I could be and now instead of a mask, I stand in the full armour of God, not as perfection, but as a perfectly imperfect vessel and to show you that no matter where life takes us, we have the power to set the path straight!
Love,
Alexia
Your Coco Mom Evolved aka the Weathered WarriHER
