Submitted by daughterofincrease
Honest truth: I wanted to cry after getting myself dressed for the day. I battled with even sharing this. These last 3 years have been a hard journey for me mentally and emotionally but has also grown me spiritually. Looking at myself in the mirror I just wanted to break down because I haven't felt like me. I wore the hat of mom, minister, dancer, teacher, or Nay Denise too often and never just Shané. I realized I wore them to avoid the depths of how I truly was feeling on the inside. Today, I have to be Shané and I felt like crying my eyes out. I don’t always feel beautiful. I don’t always feel worthy. I don’t have it together, but God. I am reminded of Psalm 139:13-18 NKJV:
"For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You."